Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
