Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
