Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
