So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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