I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
