i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
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