at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Be still, my beating vagina.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
