remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
