I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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