If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
