I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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