Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
