I skipped work to stalk him.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
