I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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