GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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