The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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