and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
