I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
