that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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