$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
