we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
