I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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