dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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