R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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