Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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