omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
