Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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