Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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