Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize