kristin has been a bad kristin
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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