Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
