GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
