At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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