I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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