i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
