I heard we made out
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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