There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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