Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
