btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
