i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
