I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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