Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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