so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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