At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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