We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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