i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
