Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
