My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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