yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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