Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
