I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wear drunk well.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Please don't give away my fajitas
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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