I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
me + whiskey = a bad person
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
