I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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